Warning: This posting addresses the topic of medical assistance in dying (MAID) as a respectful and caring approach to the end of life. While I definitely have a pro-position on this topic, my writing is intended to open a conversation between yourself and your loved ones about end-of-life planning should you be so inclined. If you are completely opposed to the concept, then maybe you should just pass on this posting.
This afternoon I am going to visit my friend Travis. He is the funeral director at the funeral home where I am making arrangements for my ultimate death. I have told Travis that given the opportunity, I am electing medical assistance in dying (MAID). I live in Canada, one of small number of countries around the world, where MAID is legalized. And by the way, I have gotten a few worried comments from people when I share this kind of information. None of us like to or even want to talk about it. But I'm a planner. And planners like to cross predictable stuff off lists. MSA comes with a list, doesn't it?
I spoke with a friend recently whose partner died over a year ago. My friend was continuing to struggle with the images of her partner in those last few days. Our conversation revealed that they had never discussed the end of life. I understand. Having the discussion verbalizes what we don’t want to have happen.
Yesterday I read many of the recent postings on the MSA Coalition FaceBook pages. Post after post was reflecting on the pain, suffering, and passing of loved ones. Honestly, as a patient, it reminded me of what very well may be in store for me. I don’t usually get depressed by this disease, but last night, it got a hook in me.
Hers was a simply constructed question but filled with angst, pain, curiosity, and a call for support. “Does anyone think about ending it?”
I think what depressed me was the number of stories of patients suffering into death. And then I came across a posting by “Patti”. Hers was a simply constructed question but filled with angst, pain, curiosity, and a call for support. “Does anyone think about ending it?” There are over 40 replies and their response ranged from one side of the spectrum to the other. What was absent except for one reply was any discussion of MAID.
As I mentioned, MAID is an option for patients facing imminent death in Canada. I have had a discussion with my doctor, my funeral director, and my minister. We are all on the same page regarding my wish to exercise that option. I have spoken about it with my very close friends and my sister. I don’t want to surprise anybody at the end. And I have had a few very deep and caring conversations with a person who I am referring to as my ‘end-of-life coach’. Brian has a medical background, has professionally been involved in other MAID events, and has been a dear friend for decades. I feel very fortunate and honestly, relieved that given the opportunity, I can control my end in a dignified manner.
There are 10 US states that have now legalized MAID (see list below). Whether or not you live in one of these states, please be brave and have a conversation about end-of-life. Be respectful of the patient and their wishes. Create a plan that will provide a sense of peace that things have been arranged so as to make whatever approach to end of life is taken, that it will be kinder than the brutality of the disease.
More information can be found at Dying with Dignity, in the article, “Medical assistance in dying around the world” (2022).
Postscript: On February 15, 2023, Canada’s Special Joint Committee on Medical Assistance in Dying passed 23 recommendations. The 21st states:
That the Government of Canada amend the Criminal Code to allow for advance requests following a diagnosis of a serious and incurable medical condition disease, or disorder leading to incapacity.
The ten US States: Oregon, Washington State, Vermont, California, Colorado, DC, Hawaii, New Jersey, Maine, and New Mexico.